I’m Melissa, a real hauswife of Orange County. My husband’s name is Hau, therefore, I’m Hau’s wife (get it?!) Our little family includes our yorkie Juicy and a recent new addition baby Ethan. I went from a Las Vegas party girl in my mid-twenties to a suburban housewife in Orange County. And I haven’t looked back since!Tumblr (3.0; @therealhauswife)http://therealhauswife.com/<p>This morning the baby started to cry. Hau decided to open the baby’s diaper on the bed. Next to the changing table. A huge stream of pee came out. Hau got peed on, there was pee all over the baby and pee on the bed. I don’t know what possessed Hau to do something like that. I don’t appreciate changing sheets at 6:30 am, especially after waking up at 5 am to feed the baby.</p>http://therealhauswife.com/post/51087127379http://therealhauswife.com/post/51087127379Wed, 22 May 2013 15:28:12 -0400its a boy<img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/c474d8d15b7f48836e1df76ddcb43db3/tumblr_mn6966K9vx1qdrtpzo1_500.jpg"/><br/> <br/><img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/6d01555bdf735ce67bfb6df3a12d80b0/tumblr_mn6966K9vx1qdrtpzo2_500.jpg"/><br/> <br/><p>12 weeks tomorrow. 11 lbs today, 5/21</p>http://therealhauswife.com/post/51025307051http://therealhauswife.com/post/51025307051Tue, 21 May 2013 19:27:42 -0400<img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/11b3afe9e2ae1d75192187caee3572b3/tumblr_mn4u303SQ61qdrtpzo1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p>He finally went to sleep after a bath and bottle. One hour and counting…</p>http://therealhauswife.com/post/50969775266http://therealhauswife.com/post/50969775266Tue, 21 May 2013 01:04:12 -0400<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/60197065b30cbe04527b4d96b0322f0c/tumblr_mn4agvhY4z1qdrtpzo1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p>It’s been a long fussy night that turned into day. :(</p>http://therealhauswife.com/post/50937402749http://therealhauswife.com/post/50937402749Mon, 20 May 2013 18:00:31 -0400<img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/a57894ba82532105105edd8f3f33b98f/tumblr_mn2f6gGa991qdrtpzo1_500.jpg"/><br/> <br/><img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/63a9fba5f2c89486422a32125f673240/tumblr_mn2f6gGa991qdrtpzo2_500.jpg"/><br/> <br/><p>One month ago and today. The baby started smiling at me this weekend.</p>I also discovered that he has ear wax.http://therealhauswife.com/post/50854139481http://therealhauswife.com/post/50854139481Sun, 19 May 2013 17:47:03 -0400<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/547209ad375596940e869f384651b694/tumblr_mm6fpotqPV1rfwyd0o1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p><a href="http://thugkitchen.com/post/49439967716/you-might-make-some-friends-with-this-shit-here" class="tumblr_blog" target="_blank">thugkitchen</a>:</p> <blockquote><p class="MsoNormal"><span>You might make some friends with this shit here. Roasted strawberries and coconut flakes make this salad look classy as fuck but i<span>t’</span>s still a choice delivery method for all that fiber<span> </span><span>and antioxidants</span>. Make <span>some</span><span> </span>room on your plate for this nutritious motherfucker. </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span>We did this with our friends at <a href="http://foodbeast.com/content/2013/05/02/thug-kitchen-roasted-strawberry-salad-recipe-aint-nothin-but-plant-nachos/" title="foodbeast.com" target="_blank">FoodBeast</a>. Check their shit out. I’ve been reading dessert recipes over there for the last hour, I should probably get back to work.  <br/></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><strong><span>ROASTED STRAWBERRY SALAD</span></strong></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span>16 medium strawberries, about 1 pound</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span>1 teaspoon olive oil</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span>a pinch of salt</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span>½ cup coconut flakes (you can use sliced almonds to save some cash) </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span>¼ cup lemon juice</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span>3 tablespoons red wine vinegar</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span>3 tablespoons olive oil</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span>a big bunch of basil, chopped<span> </span><span>into thin strips</span>, about 2/3 cup</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span>salt and pepper to taste</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span>1 big head of lettuce (green leaf, spinach, butter, whatthefuckever kind of lettuce is fine)</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span>Warm up your oven to 400 degrees. Cut the green tops off the strawberries <span>and throw that shit out.  Slice the berries in half lengthwise. Toss them in a bowl with the teaspoon of olive oil and sa</span>lt. Mix that shit up good so everything is coated. Put the strawberries cut side down on a cookie sheet. I hate doing dishes so I usually cover the cookie sheet with foil or something because the strawberries can release some juice and it’s annoying as <span>fuck to clean</span>. Roast the strawberries for 10 minutes. Throw the coconut flakes in their own section on the cookie sheet and then roast them <span>at the same time </span>for 3 more minutes or until the coconut looks toasted. Let everything cool the fuck down to about room temperature.</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span>Mix together the lemon juice, vinegar, and oil in a small glass.  <span>Toss the lettuce and the basil in a big bowl and add as much of the dressing, salt, and pepper as you like.</span> Make sure everything is coated and then put the strawberries and coconut flakes on top.  <span>Arrange that shit so it looks nice. If you</span> don’t feel like fucking with the oven then just leave the strawberries raw. I don’t give a shit JUST EAT A FUCKING SALAD or 10.</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span>Serve 4 people as a side or 1 jolly green giant </span><span></span></p></blockquote>http://therealhauswife.com/post/50762184466http://therealhauswife.com/post/50762184466Sat, 18 May 2013 18:14:00 -0400<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/dbe5668699d3f61ea3ca9b9102be7548/tumblr_mn0e8qNhGY1qdrtpzo1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p>Ethan is showing off his new outfit.</p>http://therealhauswife.com/post/50750435588http://therealhauswife.com/post/50750435588Sat, 18 May 2013 15:31:38 -0400<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/67b709a2c583c32573a5277979c0dd7c/tumblr_mmzb3rQWuu1qdrtpzo1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p>It’s been a long, long day. I hope tonight is better.</p>http://therealhauswife.com/post/50708972547http://therealhauswife.com/post/50708972547Sat, 18 May 2013 01:26:15 -040011 weeks<img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/fc3d13e7e2e396f38ad1d3c94faf0320/tumblr_mmx6znA6RE1rdh9g0o1_r1_400.gif"/><br/> <br/><img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/0049d2d4bbdc5c7b97acf07b42c164d9/tumblr_mmx6znA6RE1rdh9g0o2_r3_400.gif"/><br/> <br/><img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/21f15c73a0583f204d0d1dd9b6d8df76/tumblr_mmx6znA6RE1rdh9g0o4_r1_400.gif"/><br/> <br/><img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/685881b9d99a69e46331853c193b5601/tumblr_mmx6znA6RE1rdh9g0o3_r2_400.gif"/><br/> <br/>http://therealhauswife.com/post/50685659967http://therealhauswife.com/post/50685659967Fri, 17 May 2013 19:34:03 -0400<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/0bee4de581805e4101acbccfa5f9f87d/tumblr_mmx5n3Sobz1rdh9g0o1_500.gif"/><br/><br/><p><a href="http://theofficenbc.tumblr.com/post/50631515205/merediths-stripper-son-everyone" class="tumblr_blog" target="_blank">theofficenbc</a>:</p> <blockquote><p>Meredith’s stripper son, everyone. </p></blockquote>http://therealhauswife.com/post/50644580695http://therealhauswife.com/post/50644580695Fri, 17 May 2013 06:40:20 -0400<img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/b27fde55f0b8a42decf632f6141e8346/tumblr_mmxtgrEJq51qdrtpzo1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p>Happy 8th birthday, Juicy!!!</p>http://therealhauswife.com/post/50643683407http://therealhauswife.com/post/50643683407Fri, 17 May 2013 06:07:39 -0400yorkie<p>The shopping bug has bit me again now that I can fit in regular size clothes. </p> <p>It’s been almost a year since I’ve seen my personal shopper at Nordstrom. Then again, I don’t have anywhere to go.</p>http://therealhauswife.com/post/50640127529http://therealhauswife.com/post/50640127529Fri, 17 May 2013 03:45:01 -0400lululemon are fancy mom sweatsno more workouts<img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/587bbc78ca14b9518359cb1f4346c286/tumblr_mmweucw7c61qzc3xpo1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p><a href="http://huffpoststyle.tumblr.com/post/50587244394/a-little-inspiration-to-brighten-up-your-day" class="tumblr_blog" target="_blank">huffpoststyle</a>:</p> <blockquote><p>A little inspiration to brighten up your day. Thanks Alice + Olivia. </p></blockquote>http://therealhauswife.com/post/50597894282http://therealhauswife.com/post/50597894282Thu, 16 May 2013 16:34:47 -0400<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/7ec7a7df79dc4e3fc0c0a53a34388ce7/tumblr_mmuxp6diIk1qewacoo3_500.jpg"/><br/> <br/><img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/673f9153e0b4169725d66a8dd88de619/tumblr_mmuxp6diIk1qewacoo2_500.jpg"/><br/> <br/><img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/7d12e75fa1b99b273d71d36891075d7a/tumblr_mmuxp6diIk1qewacoo1_500.jpg"/><br/> <br/><img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/2029a1b80cf17fe4e895ca7710f0e273/tumblr_mmuxp6diIk1qewacoo6_500.jpg"/><br/> <br/><img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/1e7399b9fb50978661676ac7b3eb73be/tumblr_mmuxp6diIk1qewacoo4_500.jpg"/><br/> <br/><img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/d74af7a0ba396e57b552e1eb52f00f65/tumblr_mmuxp6diIk1qewacoo5_500.jpg"/><br/> <br/><img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/0c5f9c2c76571e1e0ceb7b67969f2c38/tumblr_mmuxp6diIk1qewacoo8_500.jpg"/><br/> <br/><img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/930c85aa97445c3ce47573a02266bf45/tumblr_mmuxp6diIk1qewacoo7_500.jpg"/><br/> <br/><img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/0d1e39d26747c63313f6840fc03f76a6/tumblr_mmuxp6diIk1qewacoo9_500.jpg"/><br/> <br/><img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/9759a8ba5aaecca209cd13481ca82dfe/tumblr_mmuxp6diIk1qewacoo10_500.jpg"/><br/> <br/><p><a href="http://tumblr.tastefullyoffensive.com/post/50520512179/9-pinterest-fails-via" class="tumblr_blog" target="_blank">tastefullyoffensive</a>:</p> <blockquote><p><strong>9 Pinterest Fails</strong></p> <p>[<a href="http://imgur.com/gallery/DlP1k" target="_blank">via</a>]</p></blockquote>http://therealhauswife.com/post/50534291918http://therealhauswife.com/post/50534291918Wed, 15 May 2013 19:39:22 -0400<img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/9c2f46ac2e2fd36c1f975485085319a3/tumblr_mmut8pByGm1qb6v6ro1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p><a href="http://huffingtonpost.tumblr.com/post/50511636463/to-celebrate-becoming-the-12th-state-to-legalize" class="tumblr_blog" target="_blank">huffingtonpost</a>:</p> <blockquote><p><span>To celebrate </span><span>becoming</span><span> the 12th state to </span><a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/05/14/minnesota-gay-marriage-legal-_n_3275484.html?utm_hp_ref=gay-voices" target="_hplink">legalize gay marriage</a>,<span> </span><span> the city of Minneapolis lit </span><a href="https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10151616649976346&set=a.422407026345.220687.99758046345&type=1&permPage=1" target="_hplink">the I-35W bridge </a><span>with rainbow colored lights last night, according to the city’s Facebook page. </span></p></blockquote>http://therealhauswife.com/post/50518358911http://therealhauswife.com/post/50518358911Wed, 15 May 2013 16:46:39 -0400<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/d9d9138b235198136f55121815d37419/tumblr_mmu76rAyI61qdrtpzo1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p>11 weeks</p>http://therealhauswife.com/post/50489711304http://therealhauswife.com/post/50489711304Wed, 15 May 2013 07:13:39 -0400<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/266e7937d6e9e27962476656230baa7b/tumblr_mmrsdj6GoI1qdrtpzo1_500.jpg"/><br/> <br/><img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/879fcf34ea7131695708cb7bbb09df7b/tumblr_mmrsdj6GoI1qdrtpzo2_500.jpg"/><br/> <br/><img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/c3a50cb5fd69166aac675e5a15cdf9de/tumblr_mmrsdj6GoI1qdrtpzo3_500.jpg"/><br/> <br/><img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/4ef75a3664c775fdf0adc87b8fa2d8a1/tumblr_mmrsdj6GoI1qdrtpzo4_500.jpg"/><br/> <br/><p>The faces leading up to a big poop.</p>http://therealhauswife.com/post/50398060620http://therealhauswife.com/post/50398060620Mon, 13 May 2013 23:58:30 -0400<img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/af31477ba914fff23786f5a12617e0a5/tumblr_mmq0mjUjSt1qdrtpzo1_500.jpg"/><br/> <br/><img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/d1529315f7ec49530492dcea15c677ef/tumblr_mmq0mjUjSt1qdrtpzo2_500.jpg"/><br/> <br/><p>Mother’s Day 2013</p>http://therealhauswife.com/post/50322903113http://therealhauswife.com/post/50322903113Mon, 13 May 2013 01:01:31 -0400<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/2bd23f314de26f67f1f03b0f9041891c/tumblr_mml9w5yQF21qdrtpzo1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/>http://therealhauswife.com/post/50092981733http://therealhauswife.com/post/50092981733Fri, 10 May 2013 11:33:41 -0400<p>The baby slept for almost 4 hours straight tonight. Hau woke him up to find a destroyed diaper. Yes, it was actually in shreds. I didn&#8217;t witness it since I was sleeping, but I saw the mass of poop left on his clothes.</p>http://therealhauswife.com/post/50078280508http://therealhauswife.com/post/50078280508Fri, 10 May 2013 04:43:24 -0400