The Real Hauswife I'm Melissa, a real hauswife of Orange County. My husband's name is Hau, therefore, I'm Hau's wife (get it?!) Our little family includes our yorkie Juicy and a recent new addition baby Ethan.

I went from a Las Vegas party girl in my mid-twenties to a suburban housewife in Orange County. And I haven't looked back since!
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  1. A pee surprise

    This morning the baby started to cry. Hau decided to open the baby’s diaper on the bed. Next to the changing table. A huge stream of pee came out. Hau got peed on, there was pee all over the baby and pee on the bed. I don’t know what possessed Hau to do something like that. I don’t appreciate changing sheets at 6:30 am, especially after waking up at 5 am to feed the baby.

    1 day ago Short URL 0 notes Comments

  4. 12 weeks tomorrow. 11 lbs today, 5/21

    2 days ago Short URL 0 notes Comments
  5. He finally went to sleep after a bath and bottle. One hour and counting…

  6. He finally went to sleep after a bath and bottle. One hour and counting…

    2 days ago Short URL 0 notes Comments
  8. It’s been a long fussy night that turned into day. :(

  9. It’s been a long fussy night that turned into day. :(

    3 days ago Short URL 0 notes Comments

  12. One month ago and today. The baby started smiling at me this weekend.

    I also discovered that he has ear wax.
    4 days ago Short URL 0 notes Comments
  13. thugkitchen: You might make some friends with this shit here. Roasted strawberries and coconut flakes make this salad look classy as fuck but it’s still a choice delivery method for all that fiber and antioxidants. Make some room on your plate for this nutritious motherfucker. We did this with our friends at FoodBeast. Check their shit out. I’ve been reading dessert recipes over there for the last hour, I should probably get back to work.    ROASTED STRAWBERRY SALAD 16 medium strawberries, about 1 pound 1 teaspoon olive oil a pinch of salt ½ cup coconut flakes (you can use sliced almonds to save some cash)  ¼ cup lemon juice 3 tablespoons red wine vinegar 3 tablespoons olive oil a big bunch of basil, chopped into thin strips, about 2/3 cup salt and pepper to taste 1 big head of lettuce (green leaf, spinach, butter, whatthefuckever kind of lettuce is fine) Warm up your oven to 400 degrees. Cut the green tops off the strawberries and throw that shit out.  Slice the berries in half lengthwise. Toss them in a bowl with the teaspoon of olive oil and salt. Mix that shit up good so everything is coated. Put the strawberries cut side down on a cookie sheet. I hate doing dishes so I usually cover the cookie sheet with foil or something because the strawberries can release some juice and it’s annoying as fuck to clean. Roast the strawberries for 10 minutes. Throw the coconut flakes in their own section on the cookie sheet and then roast them at the same time for 3 more minutes or until the coconut looks toasted. Let everything cool the fuck down to about room temperature. Mix together the lemon juice, vinegar, and oil in a small glass.  Toss the lettuce and the basil in a big bowl and add as much of the dressing, salt, and pepper as you like. Make sure everything is coated and then put the strawberries and coconut flakes on top.  Arrange that shit so it looks nice. If you don’t feel like fucking with the oven then just leave the strawberries raw. I don’t give a shit JUST EAT A FUCKING SALAD or 10. Serve 4 people as a side or 1 jolly green giant

  14. thugkitchen:

    You might make some friends with this shit here. Roasted strawberries and coconut flakes make this salad look classy as fuck but it’s still a choice delivery method for all that fiber and antioxidants. Make some room on your plate for this nutritious motherfucker.

    We did this with our friends at FoodBeast. Check their shit out. I’ve been reading dessert recipes over there for the last hour, I should probably get back to work. 

     

    ROASTED STRAWBERRY SALAD

    16 medium strawberries, about 1 pound

    1 teaspoon olive oil

    a pinch of salt

    ½ cup coconut flakes (you can use sliced almonds to save some cash) 

    ¼ cup lemon juice

    3 tablespoons red wine vinegar

    3 tablespoons olive oil

    a big bunch of basil, chopped into thin strips, about 2/3 cup

    salt and pepper to taste

    1 big head of lettuce (green leaf, spinach, butter, whatthefuckever kind of lettuce is fine)

    Warm up your oven to 400 degrees. Cut the green tops off the strawberries and throw that shit out.  Slice the berries in half lengthwise. Toss them in a bowl with the teaspoon of olive oil and salt. Mix that shit up good so everything is coated. Put the strawberries cut side down on a cookie sheet. I hate doing dishes so I usually cover the cookie sheet with foil or something because the strawberries can release some juice and it’s annoying as fuck to clean. Roast the strawberries for 10 minutes. Throw the coconut flakes in their own section on the cookie sheet and then roast them at the same time for 3 more minutes or until the coconut looks toasted. Let everything cool the fuck down to about room temperature.

    Mix together the lemon juice, vinegar, and oil in a small glass.  Toss the lettuce and the basil in a big bowl and add as much of the dressing, salt, and pepper as you like. Make sure everything is coated and then put the strawberries and coconut flakes on top.  Arrange that shit so it looks nice. If you don’t feel like fucking with the oven then just leave the strawberries raw. I don’t give a shit JUST EAT A FUCKING SALAD or 10.

    Serve 4 people as a side or 1 jolly green giant

    5 days ago Short URL 1,796 notes Comments
  16. Ethan is showing off his new outfit.

  17. Ethan is showing off his new outfit.

    5 days ago Short URL 0 notes Comments
  19. It’s been a long, long day. I hope tonight is better.

  20. It’s been a long, long day. I hope tonight is better.

    5 days ago Short URL 0 notes Comments

  23. (Source: theofficenbc)

    6 days ago Short URL 6,993 notes Comments
  24. theofficenbc: Meredith’s stripper son, everyone. 

  25. theofficenbc:

    Meredith’s stripper son, everyone. 

    6 days ago Short URL 368 notes Comments
  27. Happy 8th birthday, Juicy!!!

  28. Happy 8th birthday, Juicy!!!

    6 days ago Short URL 3 notes Comments

  30. Uh oh

    The shopping bug has bit me again now that I can fit in regular size clothes.

    It’s been almost a year since I’ve seen my personal shopper at Nordstrom. Then again, I don’t have anywhere to go.

    6 days ago Short URL 0 notes Comments
  32. huffpoststyle: A little inspiration to brighten up your day. Thanks Alice + Olivia. 

  33. huffpoststyle:

    A little inspiration to brighten up your day. Thanks Alice + Olivia. 

    (Source: aliceandolivia)

    1 week ago Short URL 144 notes Comments

  36. tastefullyoffensive:

    9 Pinterest Fails

    [via]

    1 week ago Short URL 22,349 notes Comments
  37. huffingtonpost: To celebrate becoming the 12th state to legalize gay marriage,  the city of Minneapolis lit the I-35W bridge with rainbow colored lights last night, according to the city’s Facebook page. 

  38. huffingtonpost:

    To celebrate becoming the 12th state to legalize gay marriage,  the city of Minneapolis lit the I-35W bridge with rainbow colored lights last night, according to the city’s Facebook page. 

    1 week ago Short URL 184 notes Comments
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